FOR PARENTS, COLLEGE BEGINS IN THE NINTH GRADE by Dodge Johnson, Educational Consultant
from his Philadelphia Inquirer Column "Countdown to College"
If you have an eighth grader in the family, brace yourself. Because the record of growth and achievement colleges look at begins in the ninth grade, preparing for college begins now, with the selection of courses for next year.
This not time to discuss college or colleges, any more than their first date is the time to discuss marriage. Leave that for the junior year when college begins to appear hull up on the horizon.
But families do need to know what colleges look for so their student will have as much choice as possible when the time comes. And fortunately, the things colleges want are exactly the ones that will make high school years productive and fulfilling.
In What We Expect, a joint statement aimed at schools and families, a group of twelve Pennsylvania college deans said they seek "persistent curiosity, broad intellectual interests, skill at analytical and critical thinking, a concern for exploring and applying values, an ability to manage time responsibly, and a willingness to work hard."
Colleges will consider academics first. They will ask if a student's program has been the most challenging he or she could handle - and how well he or she has met the challenge.
Rigorous colleges will normally expect a full, four-year diet of courses from all five academic 'food groups:' English, foreign language, math, science, and history. Art, computers, and music are great additions. Business courses should wait, even if your daughter or son is headed for a business degree.
There are exceptions to these rules of thumb, but generally if you follow them, you can't go wrong.
Beyond general principles, there's no one 'right' program, so good advice is important. If Amy is a math whiz, is she ready for an honors section? If John is a powerhouse in history, should he take an Advanced Placement course? Workload should not swamp them, yet it should keep them paddling.
But studies aren't everything. Colleges know students learn at least as much from one another as from professors, so they look for people who will make a difference, who will add their bit to the world around them.' Of course they miss some good bets, since not everyone hits his or her stride early. All the same, admissions people will assume that those with a history of making things 'go' are most likely to become campus sparkplugs.
That doesn't mean Sue needs join everything in sight just for the record. Colleges want people who lead rather than merely hold office, who contribute instead of simply warming chairs, who cultivate a talent rather than just dabble. And worthwhile pursuits aren't limited to school. If Jennifer slices provolone at the deli, mans the phone at a crisis center, or masters the classical guitar, she's at least as interesting as Doug, who debates, wrestles, or writes for the school paper.
Basically, being the kind of person colleges want calls for initiative and persistence. And since these qualities must come from within, anxious parents may face a no-win trap.
If you nag or bully, Sarah may mutiny or cower. Constant badgering may undermine Sam's confidence or drive him into his shell. Yet if you don't hold expectations, they may find choices pretty limited when 'someday' arrives.
All parents know that there are no sure-fire ways to avoid this dilemma. But it will help if your student is confident that you are on his or her team so you can all pull in the same direction.
Obvious? Maybe so. But schools and colleges are full of young people convinced they are doing what their parents want for them, rather than what they want for themselves. Here are some suggestions that may help:
Beware of voicing scenarios for their future you didn't hear from them first. It may well be that George would love Old Siwash as much as you did or that Mary has 'lawyer' written all over her. But if they think you're programming them for your dreams or clipping their wings, they'll resent it. Instead, stress that doing the right things now will help them fly wherever they want later.
Strew their path with opportunities. If Sue is artistic, could her church or temple use her skills to design publicity materials? Would her dentist let her hang a small one-man show?
Show constructive interest. If Jane never volunteers anything about school, ask yourself if you're too quick to criticize or belittle? If Joe's algebra rockets upward from 40 to 55, do you rejoice - or remind him that an F is still an F?
Insist that they follow through, but encourage them to define the terms. If Sally yearns to play the trombone, talk with the teacher together so everyone understands how much time will be involved. Before saying yes, insist that she commit herself to lessons for a reasonable period and show how she will fit practice into her schedule. Then hold her to it.
If Dave has time for everything but studies, insist that he come up with a reasonable plan for getting work done. If he needs the support of being checked, ask him to propose how and when he will come to you, rather than vice versa. Don't forget to praise him for any success, something easy to forget when improvement means not doing something negative.
Finally, consider meeting occasionally as a family with a guidance counselor, teacher, or other knowledgeable outsider. If someone else can outline what needs to be done and make constructive suggestions, you'll be in a position to help rather than browbeat. And if there are concerns on either side, that person can help clear the air.
Helping your child prepare for college doesn't mean push or perish but pull together and prosper. And as bonus, it's a great way to build relationships you'll all want later - when 'someday' arrives.
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